Kill dream wannabe writer

The most difficult aspect of writing is:

  • knowing what to write,
  • and sitting your ass down to write,

If you’re a wannabe writer, it could extend to:

  • having self-doubt about your ability, or the fear of what people would think about your writing skills,

If you could break that chain, you’re a winner. Because writing can be hard, but not as hard as you thought of it.

A friend of mine sent me a message recently, telling me she would also love to write. The advice I gave her was simple.

Though I knew it’s going to be hard on her. It’s the best advice any wannabe writer could ever received.

I told her to just go ahead and start writing about things she’s passionate about – things that would make difference in other people’s lives.

But many wannabe writers would never accept that as an advice. She never did, and I also never did accept that when I was starting out.

Having sent her a book that could also be a guide for her, she still keeps coming back only to ask questions without actually doing any writing.

I told her I’ve once had similar experience, and it’s about it I want to share with you.

Story about how I almost killed my own dreams of becoming a writer with my two bear hands.

I’m sharing this so that you won’t also make similar mistake and start killing your dreams as a wannabe writer.

But before we get started, let’s first start with why I always wanted to become a writer.

Why I Always Wanted to Write

The burning desire to become a writer was ignited when I graduated from high school in the year 2008.

It was during the time I was waiting for me SSCE result to be released. So I had to stay at home for several months.

But it doesn’t took me much time before I started to get bored of staying at home doing nothing. This boredom pushed me to the store where my dad kept his old novels– the ones he read when he was in his 20s.

And since I have nothing to occupy my time with, so I thought reading those novels would be a good head start to keep myself busy.

But there was something I found intriguing about those novels – they where published during the 1970s and 1980s

Those authors were long dead and gone, but their books still kept them alive.

That’s the exact moment I told myself that I must also do something people will remember me for, even though I never knew what it’s going to be.

The burning desire to write was reignited when I saw a quote by Benjamin Franklin that says:

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”

And that was how the thought of becoming a writer slipped into my mind.

The end.

Yes, that’s the end of the sweet story.

Here’s the beginning of the reality.

Wanting to become a writer doesn’t automatically makes me one until I started writing

I knew nothing about writing or what I wanted to write about. But I just want to write – to be a writer.

Even though I started a blog on Blogspot in the year 2010, it was in the year 2011 that I started to see myself as a writer,

Not even a writer in doing, but it was a writer by name. Because It was the year l gained admission, so I had the opportunity to join my department’s editorial board.

I still haven’t started writing when I became a member of the crew, it was just the desire to be a writer that was leading me.

Joining the crew was what changed the whole story. And because it was a two-year program, I became the Chief Editor the following year. So I, together with my own crew, launched the departmental annual magazine.

Having finished my two-year diploma program in 2013, I was ready to take my writing to another level – to have my own personal blog.

So I created a free version of WordPress blog, and I started following Bamidele Onibalusi and Abdullahi Muhammed Tosin.

It was at this point I realized what it means to become a writer.

4 Ways I’ve Been Killing My Dream as a Wannabe Writer

1. Not knowing what to write

I used to think I have no specialized knowledge. Though I was right, it doesn’t matter.

I never realized that having either a specialized knowledge or not isn’t what matters, but starting with something I’m most passionate about is enough to get me off the start.

The mistake I made was that I wanted to do what others were doing – to also teach people how to write or blog.

I knew I was kidding myself. I knew it can never worked out because I’m still battling with the quest of finding my voice, most especially to sit my ass down and write.

So nothing happened, and my blog was empty for several months. But I never gave up; it’s a burning desire.

2. Self-doubt

I always have this self-doubt that my writing is bad, that everybody is better than I am, and that no one started with bad writing skills.

Even though many bloggers I followed claimed that they all started with poor writing skills, I still never believed them.

3. Too much reading

I started reading books on how to become a better writer.

I don’t think I was closer to good upon all my reading and studying. Because I never did much writing.

I would deceived myself that I would start to write when I’m done reading the book.

Not knowing that I must write if I really want to hone my writing skills.

4. Trashing my work

When I did start to write, I would get angry at a point, tore the paper, squeezed it, and kicked it away like a ball because it doesn’t look like that of the writers and bloggers I was following. And this kept on repeating itself.

So I thought I still need to do more reading, and studying.

And the result? My writing never get any better.

The fact is that I never made use of the advice I was given on how to become a better writer, because I never write. Nothing to show for it.

Having realized my unhealthy habits was taking me nowhere, I started to do the opposite. To put everything I’ve learned into practice. To start writing.

So I started writing about things I’m most passionate about – which I also know will benefit other people – even though no one was reading my blog.

I later fell in love with personal development so much that I started to read books about the topic. Before I knew it, I started writing about it.

I also stopped trashing my works even when they’re not perfect. I stopped worrying about what people would think about my writing skills because I knew it’s going to get better with time.

Finally, it is true that you can never know where you’re heading until you start moving. Because any article I published always gives me another opportunity to advance.

This advancement is what pushed the idea of freedom lifestyle for exceptional people to slipped silently into my mind many years later.

And that was the beginning of the ending.

So what’s your story? Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you came to the realization that you’ve been the one killing your dream?

Let’s discuss this at the comment section below.